Into the Deep. Shadow Totems, the Darkness of Which We Face

As long as I can remember, I have always dreamed of the sea. 

The smell, wind, everything. As soon as I was near it, I had to be in it. I would carry myself to the river, ocean, pool, or lagoon and let out a call under the water that always resulted in dolphins. In my dreams, these dolphins, my bottlenose friends, always shadowed what was to come. The Totem animal that has been with me my whole life, a massive Orca or the terror of my nightmares, a out-of-this-world-large Shark. Ultimately, it didn't matter how much time I blissfully had with Orca, for I knew Shark was always waiting. The water would get murky, grayish, and I would see shapes... until a mouth of hundreds of rows of teeth, framed in red gums, on a brilliant white mouth would open underneath me. This mouth was so large, It was pretty much the equivalent of the classic Jaws movie poster. The anxiety would shake me, and I would get to the beach... or be swallowed and awoken in a cold sweat with a fever. If I was lucky enough to make it to the shore, dead sharks would wash up. Hundreds of different breeds. I never understood until later in my young adult life the reason why.

I was never afraid of sharks. I would be the first to jump in the ocean, tank, whatever... with these ancient creatures. 

I had always known Orca was a totem, and so is Red Fox. Many other power animals have came and left my life, but I never stopped to consider Shark. It was like a DUH moment when I was speaking to my husband about dreams I have that related to Orca a few years ago.

Shark is another one of my totems. A shadow totem. 

What Is A Shadow Totem?

A shadow totem is a spirit that is a reflection of your shadow self. A part of you that is not easily accepted. Symbolizes of all of which you hide. A part of you that holds your darkest secrets. A part of you that you ignore. The dark side of your moon. 

Shadow totems, on your personal totem pole would be represented at the very bottom, and if not integrated in a healthy way into your life, usually facing the other direction.

Ultimately, shadow totems are what you are doing but not being open about and/or what you are not doing because of fear.

The shadow totem does not walk along side us, as it is more inside us. You are always attached to your shadow.

The downside if you don't have a healthy relationship with the shadow aspects of your soul,  say you are disconnected from your higher-self, and the shadow is driving full-time.. The person is normally VERY self serving. It's a "Me" Show. 

But with balance. It always provides powerful medicine (lessons) for us. They challenge us. A force that often does not allow you rest until you succeeded its teachings. 

It brings us closer to wholeness.

What Is My Shadow Totem?

How can you tell what your shadow totem is?

Shadow Totems are usually spirit animals that in their physical forms often instill deep fear, disgust, or dislike. 

This is often the challenge that can sometimes be the hardest. If you have an irrational fear of an animal, it might definitely be worth looking into traits that animal has. 

These brave spirits shake us so we can learn life's hardest lessons.

The traits of these spirits are usually something we are not utilizing to full potential, ignoring, or again.. Suppressing.

For example. If you happen to clarify that your shadow totem is Spider, you may not be manifesting things into your life as easily as it should be. Spiders are weavers of destiny, master networkers. Or you may be secretly manipulating, behind the scenes, not being honest or open about it. If you lack confidence of seeking what you want, this totem will surface to teach you.

If your shadow totem is Bull, you may not be standing strong for what you believe in, your loved ones, or even your territory. 

Try to narrow down what is scary/gross/uncomfortable about the animal, and what qualities certain ones have to narrow it down. You might be even be able to tell what exact species is interacting with you. If you are only scared of snakes that spit, or those are the ones that really shake you soul, you need to take a look at Cobra totems and Cobra medicine. (Snakes are Healers and Destroyers. Destroyers meaning chaos to make new. Like a forest fire.)

Developing and forming a bond of acceptance with your shadow totem is all powerful. A companion to journey with, aid your spellcraft, and give you a deep connection with the Self.

My shark totem would constantly eat me. An animal or anything devouring you in dreamscape is something that wants to be apart of you. My Shark took 25 years to finally be fully accepted. He was desperately trying to gain my attention, the bigger and more aggressive the dream would portray him. I had to shake my dream and instead of letting it play out, become conscious and confront my shadow. My Shark shrank significantly, it was still massive. He allowed me to touch his snout, and finally the water cleared. I became warm. Blissful and I haven't had a bad shark dream since.

Shark showing gentle nature was a representation of a transformation within myself that I finally accepted.

I was not confident in my primal instincts. I had boundaries I never dared to cross. I had no authority on my life. I would often regress. I was so resistant.

Then I let go, followed the current and embraced myself for the Shark that I am.

To check out traits of animal spirit guides, Check out Whats-your-sign.com here. 

I love this website. It is rich with a lot of gathered information. A good tool for any spirit work. 

Do you know your shadow totem? Share your story in the comments below! I would love to read them.

Good luck!

Stay witchy,