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My name is Loralei.
I'm a girl with a dangerous obsession with velvet, the moon and anything esoteric...
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Were you taught to be afraid? How to reverse being taught fear.
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| "Fear no evil. So doth the spell. Vanquish the feeling. Confidence will swell." |
Were you Taught Fear?
Every have a word that is consistently brought up over a span of days or even hours? Well today that is fear.
Having a young baby girl, Has me thinking about my upbringing. The tactics I was taught as a child.
It is a proven fact of nature, that humans are not born with 'fear.' We are not naturally scared creatures. Unless our lives are threatened, and our flight or fight activates. We are TAUGHT what is scary.
Slenderman, Jason, Freddie, Vampires, dark alleys, your brother's bedroom, abandon houses, snakes, centipedes, spiders, sharks, bats, pitbulls, Different races, locations, food, failure, rejection, The woods, the ocean, etc.etc etc.
And I must say, I unmistakeably but maybe unintentionally was taught fear. My Mom wanted to protect me, but the behavior I was shown then, I have to reverse. It is a good intention, but is it the best way?
Then the synchronicity of it all, when my husband returned home to find his coworker and he were discussing the same topic.
Being taught fear:
- If you ever heard a story of what happened to an other kid when they.. etc etc.
- Told something would happen to you.
- Told directly to be afraid or intimidated or a place, time, person, or thing.
- Given an excuse to dismiss you in chance that some threatening deity or creature would come get/or punish you.
- To keep your hair tied up because you'll be afraid of being labeled as the community harlot or ahem.. witch and be stoned, punished publicly, or killed. (Yes, this still happens in India, Tibet, and other places in the world. Wear your hair proudly, my witches. Article here. )
- Examples can go on foreverz. lol ;)
One great example: I have a family member that has a large in ground pool, and if anyone knows me well I'm a half step to having gills. I loved the water, and I was VERY good at swimming. I was rewarded lifeguard status at a very young age via my high school. Yet when I was very young, I was told a story of a boy that got sucked into the drainage hole in the deep end and that it decapitated him.
Whoa.
Do you know what happened? Well.. No one had to worry about me.. because up until I was about.. 9ish. (This will come to a surprise to even my husband when he reads this..) I wouldn't go where I couldn't quickly stand. I would envy my brother doing cannon balls. The one time I did, I had an anxiety attack seeing the 'hole.'
A friend of the family, whom passed many years ago (Thank you girl!), coached me out of the fear when teaching me to properly dive.. and I lived up to my full potential as a swimmer.
If you'd like to share, what were some odd ball things people told you as a kid.
How to Reverse being Taught Fear:
- Thank you to my fiance's coworker for this beautifully put way of teaching yourself, a baby, or child not to be afraid. Instead of insisting harm, pain, or fear.. insist of just being safe. Example: Showing a child a rose, and telling them to not touch or be careful with the stem to be safe, not that it will make them bleed and hurt. (From my Paul Mitchell Business Days: Also Don't is a magic word that means it will happen... If you tell a kid don't spill the cup 8/10 that is what will happen. But allowing the child, person, baby a choice by saying 'try not to spill the cup" 9/10 it will not. Because the person was gently place conscious of the object and the outcome.)
- Really sit and think about anything that triggers fear, or anxiety. Is it sabotaging your potential? Your power? Your experience? I am willing to bet you it is. You really have to cut the fat, and be raw with yourself.
- Picture yourself triumphing over this fear. If you live your life unafraid, there is a sense of freedom that is amazing. Adopt an unafraid attitude of "it" and you are one step closer to being unafraid of it.
- Confront it. You're afraid of spiders? Well, save its life instead of stomping it. Catch it in a cup and save it from your fear so it can live to see another day. You're afraid of rejection? Realize your self worth as best as you can, its okay to have an ego about stuff, it is healing. If you are rejected, realize it is them not you, and move on. You afraid of zombies? Watch something that plays fun at them. Shaun of the Dead. You can get clever. I'm afraid of being on a sinking ship. I watch videos of it happening to 3d models to cease my anxiety.)
- Baby steps if it is something deep rooted. Rome wasn't built in a day.
- Laugh.
- Be an example. If you feel it is wrong to kill pitbulls for just being a scary looking animal with a bad rep, then stand up for them. If it is dark, show confidence so the little ones will feel safe. Take a hike off the beaten path, you might find something majestic. (Like that scene in Airbud when they find the friggin hidden BEACH.)
Loralei, what the HELL does this have to do with Magick?
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| Be a Wild & Confident Witch |
Alright, so this is a topic that really needs to be brought up. If you want to become a better caster, if you want to be powerful, it all starts with you. You don't get a luscious garden planting just one seed in a pile of trash. You have to have a clean foundation, enriched with nutrients, elements to strengthen and grow, and multiple seeds. There are always ways of improving ourselves.
It will certainly reflect in your magick, since you are the source.
+1, share, and Subscribe. this is knowledge that can benefit anyone.You have a human right to not be afraid, and to feel safe.
What fear's ass are you kicking TODAY?
Any questions, or chatting. Hit me up on Kik: theurbanwitch. I will reply to you promptly.
Stay Witchy,
Loralei x
P.S. OMGERSH HALLOWEEN IS COMING! Anyone have their costume picked out?
